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The Definition of the Man: His iPod

Author's pic

By Dennis Lloyd

Publisher, iLounge
Published: Thursday, June 17, 2004
News Categories: Humor

“The way a man wears his earbuds. The way he carries it in his pocket. The way he navigates the scroll wheel. These are the nuances that separate the punks from the stiffs. The dorks from the losers. The mere mortals from the god.”

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Comments

1

I am so The All-About-The-Music Man.  Bloody hilarious!  My headphone upgrade path followed his to a tee.

Any other posters out there proud enough to post who they most resemble?

Great article!

C

Posted by iChris on June 17, 2004 at 6:30 AM (PDT)

2

mmmm, think i come closest to the gadget man. Though i am a sucker for design so maybe a bit of the apple guy.

Posted by gainsbourg on June 17, 2004 at 6:42 AM (PDT)

3

I’m just glad I’m not the Apple-Man… you know the guys Apple shows in their commercials.  The guys that walk around listening to their iPod acting as if nothing else in the world matters. 

What a loser!

Posted by non-Apple-Man on June 17, 2004 at 6:50 AM (PDT)

4

Yawn!

Posted by schaaking in Minneapolis on June 17, 2004 at 7:16 AM (PDT)

5

Zzzzzzzzz!

Posted by ditto on June 17, 2004 at 7:17 AM (PDT)

6

Wow, that article was just pathetic.
I hope this guy realizes that owning an iPod does NOT make him more attractive. It does NOT make him cool. And it certainly does NOT make him better. I see a lot of iPod on the streets and the vast majority of the owners are dorks. When asked about WHY they got an iPod, I’m sure they’d say because it’s so sexy.

Posted by Diet Dr. Thunder on June 17, 2004 at 7:30 AM (PDT)

7

Dude, obviously you didn’t get the point. Each one of those guys were studs not because of they thought they were but because they own and use a nice piece of hardware.

Posted by Disagree with Thunder on June 17, 2004 at 7:35 AM (PDT)

8

diet dr thunder = troll. go post somewhere else, no one wants to hear you ramblings

Posted by silver_haze20 on June 17, 2004 at 8:27 AM (PDT)

9

I LOVE my iPod, how am I a troll?
The article is pathetic.
You’re a racist anyway silver_haze20.

Posted by Diet Dr. Thunder on June 17, 2004 at 8:48 AM (PDT)

10

uhm. I love my ipod b/c I have the ability to change my mood of music on the fly and i don’t have to carry around a huge case of CDs everywhere i go. So I guess that makes me an All -About-the-music man. I also own a powermac G4 and was attracted to the ipod b/c Apple made it.

P.S. > Diet Dr. Thunder….your an idiot.

Posted by designguy on June 17, 2004 at 10:22 AM (PDT)

11

I enjoyed the article.  I’m more of a cross between the All-About-The-Music guy and the Gadget Guy, with a touch of the giftee (carefully coiling up my earphones).

As with any classification scheme, most do not fall precisely into any one specific category, but its fun to people watch and think about their motivations and circumstances.

Note to Thunder: Take it easy on people and they’ll take it easy on you.  If you’re going to berate an article, at least have a decent argument; you’re line of reasoning was simplistic and you obviously missed some of the tongue-in-cheek tone.

Posted by Bill Clinton on June 17, 2004 at 10:23 AM (PDT)

12

The article forgets to mention Queer eye for the straight pod guy!

You know the type - the annoying guy with the slippers on the subway who hums his tunes in a shrill octave to let everybody know that he is

FIERCE!

Ha Ha!

Posted by Stylescraper on June 17, 2004 at 10:41 AM (PDT)

13

Idiotic

Posted by Carl on June 17, 2004 at 10:48 AM (PDT)

14

Wonderfully idiotic - who picks this stuff?

Mods: Keep it interesting, willya’?

Posted by Whiner on June 17, 2004 at 12:05 PM (PDT)

15

Fun article, I am a ipod mini wanna be, I go to circuit citys web site and it allways sold out. The other day, they had blue mini’s available. So, I checked my bank account then 3 minutes later it was sold out!!!!!
UGG.

Posted by NoVaMac on June 17, 2004 at 12:31 PM (PDT)

16

diet thunder has the right to think that article is pathetic.. because it is… besides, what about female owners of ipods, are they queens? or is this guy just a repressed homosexual who thinks every guy that owns an ipod is cute in their own way…

Posted by patrick on June 17, 2004 at 1:16 PM (PDT)

17

Everyone who carries an iPod looks like a dork.  Way to femme of a device for any real man to be seen with.

Having said that, yes, I do carry an iPod… guess that makes me a closet homosexual (which I am not), so I guess I gota throw the damn thing away or kep hiding it in my pocket when I’m in public.  I already replaced the white earbuds with black Sony’s so that I’m not a moving target.

One thing about the Rio line of products is that when you carry one, no one mistakes you for being gay because of your mp3 player.

Sad what an iPod can do for your image.  Come on, Apple, help us straight guys out and bring out some masculine colors.  How about dark blue, black, gray… how about colors of football teams.  Please allow me to sit at the coffee shop with my iPod in plain view and not get hit on by other men.

Straight guys, fight for your right!

Posted by Reality Bites on June 17, 2004 at 2:49 PM (PDT)

18

Wow, reality bites. You have some issues. If you have to rely on a “masculine” iPod to help you not look gay, then I don’t think there’s any help for you. why don’t you use a sharpie and write “straight” on your forehead. That’ll keep other men from hitting on you.

Posted by Angus on June 17, 2004 at 3:31 PM (PDT)

19

Being in LA, I guess I can’t really play along. In a city of cars, the type to buy ipods don’t ride public transportation (that’s a generalization and not always true) and people don’t walk. Those characteristics mentioned in the article are rarely observed in public. The only time you see people with listing to iPods are at the gym, and that comes with its own weird sets of behaviors.

Posted by Starboard on June 17, 2004 at 3:35 PM (PDT)

20

“P.S. > Diet Dr. Thunder….your an idiot.”

Haha, you’re calling me an idiot? You don’t even know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. That’s almost as funny as people that write things like “that’s retarted”.

Posted by Diet Dr. Thunder on June 17, 2004 at 4:12 PM (PDT)

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