Title: Apache Lander
Compatible: iPhones, iPod touches
Apache Lander by PosiMotion
This review originally appeared within iLounge’s iOS Gems series within the compilation article, iPhone Gems: Twitch Action Games, Crazy, Cool, or Kusoge. Additional details may be found in the original article.
Have you ever wanted to crash an Apache helicopter? How about a dozen Apache helicopters? Now you can, or rather, you will regardless of whether you really want to. PosiMotion’s new game, if you can call it that, is nothing more than a screen with a landing pad that’s supposed to provide a target for you to land a helicopter on. As with any number of other iPod touch and iPhone games, however, Apache Lander (Free) gives you no ability whatsoever to calibrate or even see the on-screen vehicle’s controls, so you’re basically flying blind. All you have is a fuel gauge that is basically there to let you know you’re going to smash into the ground automatically if you don’t land quickly.
Thus, what you’ll see over and over again is a helicopter somehow rolling from left to right to left to right on the screen, typically hovering for a while before you smash it into the ground. An explanation from PosiMotion: “Please note that sometimes the accelerometer does not register in the game. Please restart the game and/or restart your device to resolve the issue.” Right. PosiMotion, we’ve been waiting for weeks to have your smart idea parking space finder application G-Park properly pinpoint our position on a map. We paid for it. And we don’t like being taken to your web site every time we finish crashing ten helicopters into the ground. Please consider giving up the awful game development and focus on getting your other apps working properly. Even for a freebie, Apache Lander sucks. iLounge Rating: F.